Julie Lythcott-Haims Raises the Bar

One fun thing about being a writer is getting the chance to connect with other writers you admire. Julie Lythcott-Haims wrote How to Raise an Adult and a memoir called Real American about being black and mixed race in America. Check out her website here.

I first heard of Julie Lythcott-Haims when I found How to Raise an Adult and read it from cover to cover. I recommend it to everyone who has kids, knows kids, is thinking about having kids, or once was a kid. (Current kids: you have to wait.)

The parenting book grew out of Julie’s experience as a Stanford dean watching young adults navigating their first experience away from home without the necessary skills to do their own laundry, pass their classes and make decisions. Yes, this terrifying book is non-fiction, but writing is writing so when the opportunity to talk with Julie one-on-one came up, I jumped at it.

I asked Julie about her decision to leave her job and take on a new career as a writer. Turns out she had already made a radical life change before when she left corporate law to become dean at Stanford. Julie used phrases such as “the future I wanted to create for myself” that made me realize 1) this is a person I need to listen to and 2) I need to plaster that phrase across my forehead or at least incorporate it into my vocabulary.

I learned a lot about Julie’s current rock star life that includes travel, speaking engagements, and working on her next book, which will be a sequel to How to Raise an Adult, composed as a letter to her children (now 18 and 16) about what it means to be an adult. What stayed with me long after our conversation, though, was this (paraphrased):

“Writing is not an identity anyone else can confer on you. We claim the identity of writer. Call yourself a writer. Make room for writing. Make it a habit. Speak of it, care about it. Give it the time it needs. Treat writing as essential to your wellness.”

I love this so much and am planning to print it out and post it on the wall (it won’t fit on my forehead).

This blog is one way I’m claiming myself publicly as a writer and making room for it in my life. Other ways include meeting with other writers to write (happening tomorrow), carving time out to write each day (almost), submitting to writing contests, and joining online and in-person writer communities.

Fun parenting/writing fact: Most of this post was written on my phone, in the car, parked in front of a playground while my son slept in the backseat and my daughters played on the swings. 

 

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